Band Mom
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Dear Band Mom,
My band, Wizard's Mist, just finished touring the Northwest. On the way from Olympia to Portland, our drummer was driving the van, and he got a speeding ticket. He insists that it's a band expense and we should pay for it out of band funds, but I think he should pay it himself. The guitarist and the digeridooist don't really have an opinion on this, so it's just me against the drummer. What do you think?
– Ben K.
Vocals and bass
Santa Cruz, CA
Dear Ben,
There are a lot of variables here. Did the drummer drive the entire time because nobody else could handle the van? Were you late for soundcheck and happy to be going 90 miles per hour until you got caught? Does the drummer always drive too fast? Is he generally an asshole? Do you want to be in a band with him? If you can say with absolute conviction that the speeding ticket was entirely the drummer's own fault and completely avoidable, then he should pay for this ticket. But sometimes it's better to take the one-for-all, all-for-one approach. After all, you are in a band together — erring on the side of goodwill and generosity might one day make the difference between success and oblivion.
– Band Mom
Dear Band Mom,
There's this super-creepy bartender at this club we play at a lot. He makes these really rude comments all the time and tries to look down my shirt and stuff. It's not like he's flirting, it's more like he's trying to do this power thing and make me react or something. I try to avoid him, but every time I turn around he's there. Last week when I went out to the parking lot after the show he was kind of lurking by my car. I just get this weird feeling from the guy. But I'm afraid if I say anything to the club manager or booker that they'll take his side and we'll lose the gig. What should I do?
– Patti E.
Keyboards and vocals
Lowell, MA
Dear Patti,
Just because you're a musician doesn't mean you have to put up with sexual harassment in your workplace. If you're playing at this club a lot, obviously it's because people like your band, not because anyone's doing you a favor. By all means tell the club manager AND the booker what's going on — and don't forget to tell your bandmates too, so they know what's going on. Chances are someone else has already complained about this bartender, so you'll probably be doing the next woman a favor too. Perhaps the manager can try to schedule a different bartender when your band is playing. If not, keep your distance as much as possible, and make sure people know if the situation continues or gets worse.
– Band Mom
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Posted June 2006
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